How Do I Know I Should Go to Therapy?

You’ve been feeling off for weeks. Not just tired-like something inside you is stuck. You snap at people you love. You cancel plans. You lie in bed scrolling, but you don’t feel better afterward. You tell yourself it’s just stress. But deep down, you wonder: should I go to therapy?

It’s not just about being "crazy"

A lot of people avoid therapy because they think it’s only for crises-suicidal thoughts, breakdowns, hospitalizations. That’s not true. Therapy isn’t a last resort. It’s a tool. Like going to the dentist before you get a cavity. You don’t wait until your tooth falls out.

Therapy helps when life feels heavy, even if you can’t point to one big reason why. It’s for the quiet kind of suffering-the sleepless nights, the constant worry, the feeling that you’re faking it while everyone else has it together. If you’re asking this question, you’re already in the right place.

You’re avoiding things you used to enjoy

Remember that book you used to read before bed? The walks you loved in the park? The music that used to make you feel alive? If you’ve stopped doing them-not because you’re busy, but because you just don’t care anymore-that’s a red flag.

Depression doesn’t always look like crying. Sometimes it looks like numbness. Like your emotions have been turned down to a whisper. If hobbies, social events, or even simple pleasures no longer bring you joy, it’s not laziness. It’s your mind signaling that something needs attention.

You’re stuck in the same loops

Do you keep having the same fights with your partner? The same panic attack before meetings? The same negative thought-"I’m not good enough"-playing on repeat, no matter how hard you try to shake it?

Our brains love patterns. But when those patterns hurt you, they become traps. Therapy helps you see them. A good therapist won’t just listen-they’ll help you notice how you react, why you react that way, and what small change could break the cycle.

One client I worked with kept choosing partners who were emotionally unavailable. Every time, she told herself, "This time will be different." After months of therapy, she realized she was repeating her childhood dynamic-trying to earn love by being perfect. Once she saw it, she could choose differently.

You’re using things to numb out

Drinking more than you used to? Binge-watching until 4 a.m.? Scrolling social media for hours? Overworking? Binge-eating? These aren’t just bad habits-they’re coping mechanisms.

Your body and mind are trying to escape pain. But avoidance doesn’t fix it. It just delays it. And the longer you wait, the harder it gets to untangle.

There’s no shame in using distractions. We all do it. But if you’re relying on them daily just to get through the day, that’s your signal. Therapy helps you find healthier ways to feel safe, calm, and seen.

Your relationships are falling apart

You’ve noticed people pulling away. Friends stop texting. Family members sigh when you talk. Your partner says, "You’re not the same."

When your mental health is struggling, it shows up in your connections. You become irritable, distant, or overly dependent. You might push people away because you’re afraid they’ll see how broken you feel. Or you cling because you’re terrified of being alone.

Therapy isn’t about blaming others. It’s about understanding your role in the pattern-and how to repair what’s broken. Many couples come in not to fix each other, but to learn how to communicate without shutting down.

You’re physically tired, but you’re not sick

Headaches. Stomachaches. Muscle tension. Insomnia. Chronic fatigue. You’ve been to the doctor. Blood tests are normal. No infection. No disease.

But your body is still screaming. Stress and emotional pain don’t just live in your mind. They live in your muscles, your gut, your nervous system. This is called somatization. Your body is translating emotional pain into physical symptoms.

Therapy doesn’t ignore your body. In fact, many therapists work with somatic techniques-breathing, movement, grounding-to help you release what’s stuck. Your physical symptoms aren’t "all in your head." They’re real. And they’re messages.

You feel like you’re drowning, but you can’t explain why

This is the most common reason people finally go to therapy. Not because something terrible happened. But because everyday life feels unbearable.

You wake up with a knot in your chest. You feel overwhelmed by simple tasks. You cry for no reason. You feel guilty for feeling this way. "Others have it worse," you think. But that doesn’t make your pain less real.

Therapy isn’t about comparing suffering. It’s about honoring your experience. If you’re carrying something heavy, you don’t need to justify the weight. You just need someone to help you put it down.

What therapy actually looks like

Some people imagine therapy as lying on a couch, talking about their mom. That’s one version. Most modern therapy is practical, goal-oriented, and collaborative.

First session? You’ll probably talk about what’s bringing you in. The therapist will ask questions-not to judge, but to understand. You might get some tools: breathing exercises, journal prompts, ways to track your mood.

It’s not about getting fixed. It’s about getting clearer. You’ll learn to recognize triggers. To pause before reacting. To speak your needs without shame.

Therapy isn’t magic. It doesn’t erase your past. But it gives you new ways to carry it.

How to start

You don’t need a referral. You don’t need to be "ready." You just need to take one step.

• Search for therapists in your area who specialize in anxiety, depression, or trauma (depending on what you’re feeling).
• Look for someone who offers a free 15-minute call. Use it to ask: "Do you work with people who feel stuck?"
• Try a few. It’s okay if the first one isn’t a fit. Therapy is a relationship. You need to feel safe.
• Check if your insurance covers it-or look into community clinics. Many offer sliding scale fees based on income.
• Start with six sessions. Give it time. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

It’s okay to be scared

Going to therapy feels like admitting you can’t do it alone. And that’s hard. Especially if you’ve been taught to be strong, self-reliant, or "never show weakness."

But here’s the truth: asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s courage. It’s the bravest thing you can do for yourself.

You don’t have to fix everything before you go. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to show up-and say, "I’m tired. I need help."

That’s enough.